7 Reasons Mums Hate Indoor Play Centres
Yes – I’ve used the words Mums and not Dads. Sexism at its finest and I stand by it. Honestly, other than the rare Saturday morning where you see the lone father who has clearly been told to ‘take the kids and give me a break, there’s generally not a father in site. Dads, don’t be offended. I have a sneaking suspicion it’s because you’re actually smarter than us and realized a long time ago to stay the hell away!
If only we were smart enough to stay away too. Why do Mums hate these play centres so much? Here’s 7 good reasons:
1. False Advertising.
These places shamefully promote their venues with lines like, ‘Relax with a coffee while your kids happily play’. They sell you the dream of a relaxing catch up in their lovely café, but before kids (and even after) I’ve never found it particularly relaxing to sip coffee in an enclosed space with 50 screaming kids. You can also guarantee that for the 5 minutes your coffee is hot, your kid will be having some form of a meltdown, need to get their nappy changed or get stuck at the top of the damn thing!
2. They serve crap coffee!
We are there for one reason and one reason only. To enjoy a cup of coffee while our kids play on their own (even if it’s just for a few minutes) and yet they seem to torment us with mediocre (if you’re lucky) or absolutely crap coffee! It’s like a slap in the face! And that leads me to my next point..
3. They don't serve wine!
Bad, bad business decision. I can't think of a time I've wanted wine (any alcohol really) more than after 30 minutes in one of these places. It should come free with admission (and it should be two glasses if you're there for a birthday party!)
4. Other Mums!
There are many types of mothers at play centres (helicopter parents, couldn’t give a stuff what my child is doing parents and the crunchy mommy who is way too enthusiastic to be there, just to name a few) and regardless of which one you are, the other types of mums will annoy you. Don’t be too upset, you’ll annoy them too.
5. Other kids! I’ve spent many hours in these places and not once have I thought, “Gosh, how lovely are those other 25 screaming children in here” … not once….ever!
6. Birthday Parties
These only seem to occur at midday on a Saturday or Sunday (otherwise called the busiest, noisiest, craziest part of the week). I would pay a stranger to take my child to one of these ... I really would.
7. Hygiene Standards
You’re a mum. You KNOW what has to have occurred in that ball pit. You’re torn between telling your child to avoid the ball pit (surely it’s a bio health hazard in there) and knowing that they’ll happily play in there for five minutes while your drink your crap coffee.
So why do we go you ask? Because we’re mums. We’re busy, we’re tired, and some days even a crap coffee and a quick break in a noisy indoor shed beats no break and no coffee at all!
Some posts you may enjoy are